Hack your friends’ Hotmail

Important: The following article links to a fraudulent website that attempts to steal your confidential information. This article is purely satirical and you should not enter your personal information on the website linked.

Ever wanted to hack your friends’ Hotmail to uncover his or her darkest newsletter subscriptions? Or maybe you want to see what great medical offers they have been receiving? Whatever satisfies your desires, “hackurfriendshotmail” is the answer.

I’ve had the privilege of being referred to this service by an unfamiliar and strange person (hackurfriendsemail@hotmail.com) who added me to MSN and then quickly disconnected. What a kind fellar. I checked out the site, and I thought, “WOW, I’ve got to tell everyone about this unique service.”

An award-winning site design for an award-winning service. It was love at first sight. The webmaster obviously wanted to make sure everyone knew this was a free service, so they graciously capitalised the words, “THIS IS FREE”, you can’t miss it. After reading just the first line describing the service, you would undoubtedly think “how cool is that”.

It’s simple. You enter in your email address along with your email’s password and the person’s email address you want to access. No gimmick, no bull, just pure information.

Of course, hacking “is a hard job and may take some time”. So you have to “be patient”. But when they “have worked out the email”, you will be notified.

There’s a few terms you will have to agree to. Nothing serious. Just normal legal mumbo jumbo. For example:

• This organisation takes no responsibility “what’s so ever” for losses or damages. I wonder what can you lose?
• Whatever you submit, “it must be correct”. Otherwise, “huge penalty” for you!
• Any information you submit, they own it. Like they totally own your email and password. Nothing to be scared of.
• This organisation takes no responsibility for your’s or other’s actions. If you’re stupid, they have no responsibilities.
• If you change your email’s password within one week, your hacking request becomes invalid. Wonder why?
• They might change these very basic and understandable terms without notice. If you’re unhappy with the terms, email them!

And of course, the more people you refer to this service, “the better it comes for you”. At the moment, it comes very well for me.

Of course, everyone is going to be asking, is this secure?

Your email address will be on their mailing list, so others might see it, but remember, that is all they could see. And “it is quite secure”. Nothing to worry about.

So how does it work?

Trade secret obviously. But it requires “special coding that computers can’t do so it’s done manually”. I feel so sorry for those people who work so hard to hack passwords.

So please, tell everyone about this great service and website, and “make it very big”. Remember, more referrals to the website means “the more passwords you get”, but also “the happy everyone gets”. Amen.

Important: The above article links to a fraudulent website that attempts to steal your confidential information. This article is purely satirical and you should not enter your personal information on the website linked.